died to keep it alive.

The dissatisfaction of it all

I don’t know

it’s been a long year so far and we just passed half of it, and I’ve just come back from holiday about a week ago.

it takes me a week just to fall back into the same bullshit thoughts and arguments and chaos mentally.

I don’t actually think the problem is when you do argue with yourself, or you have that split discussion in your head about what you should do maybe what you should’ve done, but talking to yourself or yourselves talking to each other if we consider the split brain X experiment results js quite normal .

problem though becomes one you’re trying to convince yourself or one side of you is trying to convince the other side of you that suicide is not an achievement, and the only way that you stop yourself from actually going through it or even starting to plan not going through but even starting to plan is reminding yourself that people will be upset and how much they would be hurt.

So the phone is contemplating suicide or is in a weak position the way to stop yourself from going through of signing is to remind yourself of how bad it will be for other people and here misery does not like company.